Me (Emma): "I'm sorry." Husband: "For what?" Me: "Because I didn't have dinner ready and the house is a mess." Husband: "So?" Me: "So I feel like if I were really a good wife I would have dinner ready and the house would be spotless." Husband: "Hmmm. I really don't care if dinner's ready or the house is clean." Me: "Well I do!" Husband: "Wait, I thought this was about me?" Me: "Well it is! Because good wives have dinner ready every night and their houses are clean. And if those haven't happened, I'm not a good wife!" Husband: "I think you're a great wife." Dialogue featured above is an excerpt taken from the life of Emma & Jordan. A conversation we both know well, it goes the same just about every time and it covers a wide variety of topics. It's typically me saying something I "should've" done because of an expectation I think he has, when in reality it's just an expectation of myself, and it ultimately ends with him saying, "It's no big deal. I love you." Sri Chinmoy said, "Peace begins when expectation ends." I cannot tell you the times I have felt harried, frustrated, frantic, or like I'm coming apart from unrealistic expectations. Those can be of others, myself, life situations, etc. One of my personal favorites is...my day...dun dun dun...The dialogue goes like so. Take 10,376- Husband walking in the door from work. Husband: "Hey babe!" Me: "hi." Husband: "Are you okay?" Me: "yes." Husband: "okay?" Me: "I just didn't get like anything done today and I'm feeling really frustrated about it." Husband: "Oh, I'm sorry. What did you want to do?" Me: "Just the usual stuff: clean the house, do meal prep for the next month, start that DIY project on the new desk, go on a bike ride, write the great American novel, make a medical discovery, break a world record, donate a kidney, conquer the world!" Husband: "..." I failed to mention I woke up and worked on my novel before Noah got up, made breakfast, got him changed when he woke, played together for awhile after breakfast, went on a walk to the park, visited a friend that's been having a hard time, went grocery shopping, cleaned out the car, spent some time gardening with my sister, and then had some reading time with Noah before his second nap. And after a beautiful day spent with those I love why do I end it with the statement, "I just didn't get like anything done today?" Expectations. Sri Chinmoy also said, "We are all seekers, and our goal is the same: to achieve inner peace, light and joy, to become inseparably one with our Source, and to lead lives full of true satisfaction." When I burden myself with unrealistic expectations (which we all do like ALL the time) I have to wonder who is benefiting from that because it sure isn't me! Maybe that's the real beauty of life; learning to look around a little more and enjoy the now because when we "expect" we are either in the past or the future, never the present and I would much rather feel the gift of now. I once heard that's why it's called the "present." Clever eh? I'll always have goals. But I think I'll try to spend a little more time in the now. Maybe then I can better appreciate Noah baby's smiles, a day filled with sunshine or rain, and the little victories like having vacuumed. "The Secret of happiness is low expectations" |
who we areSpread the Good: Three sisters embracing the human experience, ups and downs included, inviting others to join the celebration.
AuthorsThree sisters, three years apart, three words: Spread the Good Archives
January 2021
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