I think we can all relate to this (and if you can't, can you please send me your blog info so I can know your secret?!?!?!) In my life everywhere I look there is something TO DO! And you can't ever really take a break without having to play catch up because bills still need paid, relationships need nurtured, humans need fed, clothes get worn and need washed, and life goes on. This is something that REALLY stresses me out! And lately I've just felt buried! I mean, how am I supposed to be a wife, mom, friend, cook, maid, chauffeur, runner, finish my CBE, continue improving my German, and have dance multiple times a week all at the same time???!?!!??! Well, here's the secret...(you ready???) I CAN'T! Yep, I said it. I CAN'T DO IT! And not only can I NOT do it. I AM NOT WILLING TO DO IT ANYMORE! I read somewhere that the distance between happiness and reality is our expectations. When we expect that things will be one way, and then they aren't it leaves us feeling bad--and usually unhappy. (Trust me, I am the queen of unrealistic expectations so I know this!) There are some people that are amazing at readjusting their expectations really gracefully to adapt to their reality, and some people are great at not having expectations and just going with the flow. (If you are this way, I commend, applaud, and probably eve worship you!) After I had Finn I used to make these very lengthy To-Do lists every morning while I ate breakfast. They started with the "must do's" like: pay bills, buy diapers, and doctor appointment. Then "good to do" things like house work. Then, "like to do" things like: take a bath, watch Downton Abbey, paint my nails. It's not so bad to have lists (I'm still a list person). The problem was that I didn't separate my list into categories. To me, everything was a MUST DO! The things that fed me were at the bottom of the list, I NEVER got to all of it which made me feel like a failure, and since the things that fed me were at the bottom of the list they NEVER happened. (Insert eye roll.) Now, my lists look much different. *Get the kids to school *Go to the gym Get milk and bread *Playdate at the park *Take a bath while kids watch a movie Clean up the kitchen Tacos for dinner Flash cards with the kids *Dance practice ----BONUS---- strip the beds wash and towels vacuum Everything that has a star next to it is mandatory. But do you see how many mandatory things on that list are things that feed me? My lists are much more manageable, they are healthy, and they made me feel better. Do I love a clean house? Yes! But do I love a clean house at the expense of my gym time, my baths, or time with my kids? No! We need to stop creating our lists based on what we think we SHOULD do, and start creating them based on what we WANT to do and what feeds us. So, next time you make a list as yourself a couple of questions: 1. Does this NEED to get done? 2. Does this FEED me? 3. What is the consequence if I don't get this done? (If there's not consequence, put it in the BONUS section, or don't put it on the list at all.) Just remember that there's no task-master that's monitoring your productivity like a meter-maid, and your productivity doesn't equate to your worth or your goodness as a human being. When I changed this way of thinking (And yes, I do have to remind myself this every so often because old habits die hard) I started being a lot kinder to myself. I feel happier, more content, and am more productive. From Molly... I am the queen of to-do lists, but I love that! It helps me to see what's most important, not get overwhelmed, and really does help me accomplish more in the time I have. But I've realized some days all I can handle is having a "to NOT do list". Each day comes with its own challenges and aides, and each day I have a different amount of resources. On some mornings all I can handle for that day is not doing some specific things, and if I can keep those in check then it was a great day! For me those not to-dos are yelling at the girls, taking my stress out on Aaron, getting on social media, talking on the phone a lot, and eating junk food all day. My five deadly sins :) Some days you can rule the world, and other days you just need to stop yourself from being a big jerk :) Maybe I'll put that on a sign... #spentthedayinmybathrobebutatleastibrushedbyteeth From Emma... You should've seen my house this morning. Actually, I'm grateful you didn't see my house this morning. Those of you with type-A personalities would've cringed (yes Sam, I'm talking to you) or you would've immediately felt a desire to busy yourself picking up this and that (shout out to Molly). Sam, Molly and I have a lot in common, but we are also extremely different in many ways. Because of that we learn a lot from each other and that inspires us, cue the creation of a blog called Spread the Good. Sam's version of a clean house is not Molly's, and Molly's is not mine, but often times on each of our lists of to-do's "clean house" gets center stage on the sticky note. In life we often label things "get to's" or "have to's." That unfortunately often translates to things like cleaning the house are "have to's" while "get to's" are playing with your kids. That begs the question, how do we define productivity? and is our definition bringing us the kind of satisfaction with our highest priorities that we would like? As I said, Sam, Molly and I are very different, but we have some key things in common: love of family, devotion to serving, and passion for life. Sometimes those things get bogged down or convoluted by the endless "to-do's" and perceived "have to's." You should hear our weekly phone conversations. My house has been a mess for at least three days. Some people can't live with that. That's okay! Some people can. That's okay too! I'm in the middle ground. Some things really don't matter in life. Follow this train of thought, "what happens if this doesn't get done?" and you'll discover quickly that it's a small fraction of what we often think is life and death. I've had a lot going on in my head the past few days with a lot of recent occurrences and changes coming up and the things I've deemed "not-to-do's" like 1. Don't stress out 2. Don't over analyze 3. Don't make yourself miserable! have measured my level of productivity far better than a clean house could have so today when I got to cleaning because I was mentally prepared it felt like a "get-to." Because of this I am able to spend far more time focusing on the things that I actually value instead of the things I think I should value (the two vary greatly)! In conclusion, take life at your own pace. Focus on the things that actually matter because no profound success story starts with, "she checked off all the things on her to-do list," unless you have an insanely unique "to-do-list," in which case, carry on. But just a heads up, this blog is for normal people ;)
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
who we areSpread the Good: Three sisters embracing the human experience, ups and downs included, inviting others to join the celebration.
AuthorsThree sisters, three years apart, three words: Spread the Good Archives
January 2021
Check Out Molly's Book! |