From Molly... This week we wanted talk about each of our happy places and why. Mine is in my garden. Anyone who knows me very well knows how much I love my garden. Why? There are so many reasons! But the great thing about a happy place is that there doesn't need to be a reason! When I am working in my garden I just feel so happy. I love how my hands smell after I've been picking tomatoes, the dirt under my fingernails, the exciting earthworm sighting, and just watching everything grow, develop, and thrive...and then getting to eat it! I grow all sorts of things, and some things better than others. This year was slicing tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, roma tomatoes, zuchinni, butternut squash, sugar snap peas, sweet corn, slicing cucumbers, pickling cucumbers, sunflowers, basil, cilantro, strawberries, and raspberries. Some things grow better than others, but I enjoy learning new things every year. So about your happy place not needing to be logical...the planting zone we live in says that May is the safest time to plant. However, I ALWAYS plant in April. And yes, some of my seedlings always die. But I enjoy gardening SO MUCH that I actually like to plant twice! haha. See? It doesn't need to make sense. We live in a two bedroom 800 sq ft apartment, so we spend a lot of time outside. We've thought of moving multiple times since we now have 2 kids, no dishwasher, and no washer/dryer. But when push comes to shove the number one reason we stay is the garden. It brings me SO much joy every year. Happy places are important to have because the fact is we aren't always happy, but isn't it wonderful to have a "go to" happy place. When we were kids Samantha convinced me that if we used the right words, we could jump into our closet and enter candy land. We did it all the time. Our hangers became candy canes, chocolate syrup poured out of the door handle stopper, and everything was edible. We LOVED that game! Now wouldn't it be lovely if we could do that as adults? Well we can! Happy places can be all sorts of places. More of mine are my front porch bench before dawn while the girls are sleeping and a cup of tea in my hand. Another is strolling down the roads here in the evening and finding picturesque buildings like this one below. Or sitting on a simple bench like the one beneath also. Or swinging on our hammock in the yard. There are so many happy places that create happy thoughts and happy feelings. Now that's happy :) From Sam... I used to think that a "happy place" was a destination, and when I pictured my "happy place" it was literally a place. It was home in WA with my family (mainly my mom and sisters). When I was in college, I loved going home to visit (I still do) to see everyone, but every time I left I felt so sad and empty. It was like my mind believed it couldn't be happy unless I was in my "happy place". As I have gotten older my happy place isn't a literal geographical location, and has little to do with who is around me. My happy place has everything to do with my state of mind. My happy place is when I feel contentment. What I love about this is that it allows me more control of how to get there. When we were poor, newlywed college students we didn't have very much money or time to get back home so it was miserable pining away for my happy place for 5 months. Now, I don't have to wait to go somewhere, I can find that happy place within myself. The secret? Do more things that delight me! By integrating delights into my life I can have that contented feeling with me more often. In fact, just in the last 4 days I have found my happy place many times in many different ways. One thing that delights me is conquering a fear. It's probably strange, but it feels so exuberant to internally scream "I DID IT!" I think it also helps me to recognize that I have control. (Have you noticed that I don't like feeling like I'm not in control...?) This Saturday I went zip-lining with Aaron for our 9 year anniversary. The first run off the platform was gut-wrenching, but as soon as I began soaring I felt euphoric. It was seriously like I could look my fear of heights in the face and say "TAKE THAT! I WON!" and I loved it. And every time I ran off the platform of a new line I was in my happy place. Then, that evening we went to a cheese and chocolate pairing class where we learned about bean-to-bar chocolate making, and the subtle nuances that pair specific chocolates with specific cheeses. (I know it sounds weird, but it was awesome!) No, I didn't adore every single flavor, but I was learning, I was eating. I was content, and I was happy. The next morning I was laying on the bed and both kids came and laid on top of me for a dog-pile. They were laughing, I was laughing, and Aaron snapped a picture. I was in my happy place. Last night I got the kids to bed, grabbed an oversized sweatshirt, I cuddled up next to Aaron on the couch with a snack and read a book I've been dying to start for almost 3 hours. I was in my happy place. As you can see, my happy place isn't static--it's fluid and much of the joy I get when I'm there is looking at all I have overcome on my journey to find it. It's unrealistic to think that we will be happy all the time. It's also unrealistic to have our happy place be dependent on multiple external factors (finances, geographical location, your mood, others opinions and behaviors, etc.). For so many years I thought that finding your happy place was acquiring that picture perfect moment and somehow morphing that into your life, but that was so naive. Happiness is so much more readily available to us--we just have to grab it...and sometimes eat it!
2 Comments
Daryle starnes
11/2/2017 01:11:15 pm
I love to hear the stories of what was really going on when you girls were young. What imaginations and creativity. I too have learned that my happy place is with those I love and has precious little to do with geography (however, I sublimely love being with my family while in a new geographic area).thank you all for being so accomodating when I get the time to come pay a visit. The time I spend with you each one on one is precious to me. Thanks for being you. You're pretty amazing to this dad.
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Molly
11/16/2017 09:54:07 am
We love you so so so much dad! And we definitely know we have the best dad in the world to keep up on our blog :) Can't wait to be with you again. Our relationship is always a happy place for me xoxoxo
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who we areSpread the Good: Three sisters embracing the human experience, ups and downs included, inviting others to join the celebration.
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