Do you ever find yourself full of glee and then have a pang of guilt when you learn about a current event? Does your food suddenly taste less enjoyable when you pass a homeless person on the street? Does recognizing others' pain considerably diminish your pleasure? These are all feelings I've experienced and in the past fought on one side and then the other. At one time I concluded that these feelings were toxic and unnecessary and adopted a "take care of number one" attitude, trying to harden myself to the outside world. This only brought isolation and bitterness. Then on the other hand I concluded that a truly compassionate life would be devoted to relieving the pain and sufferings all around me and not shielding myself from it. However, this also made me feel isolated, hopeless, and bitter. We can't all come to the same conclusion of how to relieve suffering, feel about its presence, or live our life accordingly. So now the question I pose is, who would dull the sweetness of the berries? We may incorrectly assume that to responsibly respond to darkness, we cannot praise, enjoy, and bask in the light. We might even call those naive who embrace childlike innocence and take time for the small things in life. But why do we have to de-legitimize what is good in order to fully accept and play our part in fighting what is bad? The last week I've done a lot of blackberry picking. We've picked cups and cups and have MANY pints of jam as a testament. As we picked, however, we were careful to avoid the thorns. You may relate to the feeling of seeing one particular berry just almost out of reach that you're keen to get, and even though you're surrounded by others, you want THAT one. Do the thorns deter you? Perhaps. But do they stop you? Not in my experience! I turn into a full blown ninja when there's that one berry prime for the picking! And once I have my precious berry, do those thorns make the berry any less sweet? No. When I see suffering around me, it is deeply distressing. But do prolonged feelings of guilt, sorrow, or anger change the circumstance or outcome? No. In fact, dwelling on these feelings causes us to become more self-centered. It is about how I feel, what I see, what I should do. These feelings lead to thoughts such as "why have I been so blessed?", "I don't deserve this", "this is so hard for me to see or feel". We spend hours scouring facebook, listening to NPR, or reading political articles just to be left in a muddle of negative feelings and the illusion that amidst the thorns there are only small and bitter berries, barely worth the picking. First, there are plump, ripe, and juicy berries in all of our lives and the world at large. Blessings abound for those with eyes to see. And as our eyes become more keen to the good around us, it will inevitably increase.
Second, you have only been put in one part of the patch to harvest. You cannot conquer all of the thorns and harvest all of the berries on your own. Everyone has a part to play, so play yours well and encourage others in the forage.There are seeds to plant, stalks to water, briers to train, thistles to weather, berries to pick, vines to prune, and then we can all enjoy a lovely batch of jam. Figure out what your part is, and DO what you can. Third, what a blessing that we all feel the briers. No one is exempt from pain. Feelings of compassion can stir the human soul in a marvelous and truly divine way to open our hearts to others, and to stir us to action. In my opinion, an inclination or feeling of compassion without action is merely wasted energy. There is always SOMETHING we can do, if only but to offer a smile, eye contact, or a recognition of someone's humanity. Perhaps it's not direct, but there is always something we can do to better the world that comes from those stirring emotions of compassion. Sometimes it might just be helping us react with a bit more tenderness to our husband, wife, child or friend, giving a bit to a local relief effort, or making life changes to get your family in order. Other times it might be on a much larger scale. Each of these has its purpose in the grand design for the human family. Fourth, the berries that grow in sunshine taste the sweetest. The sweetness of the berries is not altered by the amount of briers but it is determined by their easy access to plenty of water and sunshine. If we were to deny the berries sunshine simply because it is too naive, old fashioned, insensitive, sheltered, or childish to let them bask in the sun while briers abound, we would deprive ourselves of the sweetest flavors. Fifth, some of our hands are sensitive and some are tough, but both are picking as best they can. Not all people can endure the same exposure to distress. What would inspire one might break another. Let's admire both the reassuring tenderness of the sensitive and the inspiring passion of the resilient. Both have their place and benefit our world equally. I have felt and seen many briers, but I relish in the sweetness of each berry I enjoy and notice the thousands that never even get harvested. The world is painful but it is sweet and purposeful as well and can be even more so when we all do our part to nourish it.
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who we areSpread the Good: Three sisters embracing the human experience, ups and downs included, inviting others to join the celebration.
AuthorsThree sisters, three years apart, three words: Spread the Good Archives
January 2021
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